2015 Goals and Aims

What's up, chubsters? We have only two days left of the year, and this year I can probably count on both hands how many lbs I've lost through out the year... which might be plenty for someone, but for me it's not enough. I know that absolutely everyone says this at the start of the new year, but I am desperately going to try my hardest. I just thought I'd show you a couple of my weight loss and fitness goals for the year!

1. I want to lose at least 3 stone
2. I want to be able to run on the treadmill... I've never been a runner, so this might be my failure!
3. I'm going to join Slimming World again.
4. I'm going to go to the gym a minimum of three times a week. No exceptions.
5. Write a weekly/bi-weekly food diary, either for SW or on my blog.
6. I'm going to improve my chest press weight - I can only press 5kg! My wrists are so weak!
7. I'm going to start doing the 30 Day Planking Challenge. Build that upper strength!
8. Stop ordering takeaways when I'm sad/bored. ONCE a month/every other month.
9. Here's the hardest one... I'm going to try to drink alcohol as little as possible.
10. It's really messing with me that I don't have a 10th - so suggest something to me!

I think, although I don't drink much at the moment, the alcohol cutback will be the hardest. It's so easy just to have a casual drink at home, or have a drink when you're out with your friends. I'm going to stick to diet coke, or diet lemonade and lime. I might even try a night out without drinking - but we'll see how far it goes! I use alcohol sometimes as a 'potion' to make me more social and outgoing, and it really shouldn't be that way.

Anyway I hope you all take this New Year as an opportunity to rejuvenate and renew yourselves - this year could be yours, so grab it by the balls and make it your bitch! (Wow... I should definitely be a motivational speaker!) I hope you all have a wonderful New Year - take care!

Lots of love,

I can do this.

I've had a really bad day today. Well, it's not all bad. It started off good, at least. I went and ran a few errands, and even joined the gym today - so I felt like 'Right, I'm making a start again... let's get something done this time, Chubby Bunny'. Then all that feeling good came to a crash. I got out of my car, literally a meter from my footpath when someone shouted:

'MOVE OUT THE WAY YOU FAT C*NT'

...And I was horrified. I shouted at them, then fled up the stairs and bawled my eyes out. I'd literally just came back from signing up for the gym. Something that it took me a lot to commit to, as it is. I mean don't get me wrong; I'm fat, I've had people point out the obvious to me more times than I can shake a stick at. But to be spoken to in such a way, with such disregard made me feel horrendous. I'm still feeling quite rubbish about it now if I'm being honest. I know, I know 'Oh, pay no attention to them!' and 'They don't know what they're talking about!' are the phrases that people would say to reassure me and calm me, but these kids were strangers. They quite clearly didn't give a f*ck how I'd take being called that. So why would they sugar coat it? I am fat, and it's something I've always known deep down but never really come to terms with entirely.

Okay, so I had a little cry - because really, I am soft. But now... I feel like I'm ready now to make another start to losing weight. I'm gonna be more assertive, and not so lazy. I'm going to go to the gym not because I want to, but because I have to. I need to get out of this body and generate some self worth. I never want to hear those words directed at me ever again.

I'm back this time, hopefully, for the foreseeable future. I can do this.